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My Problematic Addiction to Dairy
I can’t digest dairy properly. There, I said it, alright? Yes, now that I’ve been forced (by no one) to come clean about how my body processes dairy, the truth is that every time I ingest dairy, shortly thereafter, I get that feeling when all the blood rushes from every other part of your body […]
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Camp Muddy Stream: The Complete Saga
I wrote the following story about my first time going to sleepaway camp (an absolutely horrible experience) when I was 24. I actually wrote 10 full-length comedy essays like this one back then, each about a different hilariously crummy experience I’d had in my life. They were part of a collection I referred to as […]
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Camp Muddy Stream: Part 7/7 (THE END!)
Continued from Camp Muddy Stream, Part 6/7: This formative incident happened while I was standing in line behind two sinewy older girls at the Theater Cabin (of Hurricane Bertha fame). We were waiting for our final play rehearsal to start. One of the two girls had arrived for rehearsal that day in a hideous, brightly-colored, […]
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Camp Muddy Stream: Part 6/7
Continued from Camp Muddy Stream: Part 5… We managed to weather the hurricane in a Little House on the Prairie kind of way by staying inside that wooden cabin until the storm passed, which felt somewhat quaint and novel in a not-unpleasant way. However, upon returning to our tents, we learned that because the sides […]
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Camp Muddy Stream: Part 5/7
Continued from Camp Muddy Stream: Part 4… Apparently, my mother had seen some bizarrely misinformed weather report in New York that there was a terrible cold front passing across Maine, which couldn’t have been farther from the truth. When the counselor opened my package in the 90-degree heat of that summer day, there was nothing […]
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Camp Muddy Stream: Part 4/7
Continued from yesterday’s post, Camp Muddy Stream: Part 3… Looking out at the crowd of campers, she bowed her head and said, “I’m very sorry to have to tell you this, but last night, our beloved horse, Cloud, passed away in his sleep. His body will be buried on the camp grounds, and we’ll always […]
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Camp Muddy Stream: Part 3/7
Continued from yesterday’s post, Camp Muddy Stream: Part 2… As luck would have it, my best friend, Sarah, and I were assigned to two different tents upon our arrival at Muddy Stream. She was assigned to Tent 4, and I was assigned to Tent 3. If this were a TV show, I’d now show you […]