Bittersweet Caroline

Category: Descent Into Madness

  • My Problematic Addiction to Dairy

    I can’t digest dairy properly. There, I said it, alright? Yes, now that I’ve been forced (by no one) to come clean about how my body processes dairy, the truth is that every time I ingest dairy, shortly thereafter, I get that feeling when all the blood rushes from every other part of your body…

  • The Sounds of 7pm

    The first time I heard the cheering at 7pm, it was delightful. I just checked my phone, and it shows that I recorded my first video of people on my block and around the Upper West Side cheering at 7pm on March 27th. I recorded a second video of even louder, more spirited cheering on…

  • Baby Foot, Sweet Baby Foot: A Review

    Okay. I think I’m finally ready to talk about my EXTREMELY enjoyable experience with Baby Foot (which I shall henceforth abbreviate as BF periodically throughout this post). I will admit that the process has been truly horrifying at times, even for me, which I thought was impossible (I’ve literally attended a live autopsy and I…

  • Baby Foot Update: IT’S WORKING

    Guys. Guys. My feet are coming off in the bathtub and it’s glorious. Stay tuned for a longer post about this later – and know that I haven’t forgotten about updating you about my Baby Foot trial – just wanted to make sure I’d have something good to report. AND I DO! Speak to you…

  • Baby Foot Update: It’s Arriving Today!

    Ok, I have something to confess. I had originally bought a knock-off version of Baby Foot due to poor impulse control and having done inadequate research. Then I checked the 1-star reviews for the product I’d already ordered (and written about on here)…and I found some pretty troubling information. Two of the 1-star reviews of…

  • I’m Finally Going to Melt the Skin Off My Feet

    I finally bit the bullet and bought Baby Foot (actually, a Baby Foot knock-off), and I can’t freakin’ WAIT to use it. Here’s a link to the original Baby Foot. (Sidenote: now that I’m looking at the original product, I’m wondering why the fuck I bought an off-brand version of virtually the same product, but…

  • I Think I Accidentally Bought Poison on Amazon

    Rubbing alcohol has always been one of my favorite household items. You can use it for most small sterilization tasks, like sterilizing your tweezers after a rousing session of what some might call ‘a bout of self mutilation’ but I would call ‘me time.’ I never knew just HOW important rubbing alcohol was to me…

  • My X-Treme Dip Powder Nail Fail

    I’ve bitten my nails for as long as I can remember – literally my whole life. I’ve closely examined childhood photographs, and my nails were short and bitten down even then. I’ve tried everything to stop; that bitter-tasting nail polish that’s supposed to deter you from mindlessly gnawing on your hands? I developed a taste…

  • GTFO This Elevator, Ma’am

    I’ve got a little problem on my hands, and I’m hoping one of you will be able to help me out with it. We live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan above 100th Street. Our building feels like a true community. That’s hard to find here in NYC, and we’re lucky to have it.…

  • Not Cool Beans

    As the lockdown here in NYC stretches on and provisions grow thin, I’ve been thinking a lot about what matters most to me. No, it’s not family, or my health, or the fact that I live in a city where people play trumpets every night at 7pm to thank our front-line workers during this pandemic.…